A Stench Blossom by Any Other Name: Adventures in Branding a Small Business

What’s in a name?  As it turns out, a lot.  A business’s name is more than a simple monicker, it’s a customer’s first impression of the organization as a whole.  As a typewriter repair shop, what to call yourself may seem like a no-brainer, but even something as “obvious” as “New England Typewriter, LLC,” for a shop located in the New England area, specializing in typewriter repair, sales, rentals, and outreach, doesn’t come without several brainstorming sessions and a lot of objective criticism.  Below are provided several other business names, tossed aside for our ultimate selection, as well as the origins of their conceptions, and why they were ultimately found to be dissatisfactory.

Cambridge Typewriter

Let’s start with the first, and most obvious, potential variation.  Despite my interest in taking over Cambridge Typewriter upon my mentor’s retirement, it proved too much of a financial obstacle to buy, maintain, and update the business.  During many discussions, I’d mentioned my interest in moving the business to southern New Hampshire, as my commute to/from the shop in Arlington, MA, totaled more than 80 miles daily.  Preferring instead to keep the business where it was, my mentor ebbed incrementally, eventually agreeing to the premise.  The name, Cambridge Typewriter, however, would have to stay.

So, when negotiations fell through, the name went with it, although I wasn’t entirely keen on preserving the branding over the long run, as the business’ former location in the town adjacent Cambridge led to so many pains for first-time customers, I couldn’t quantify mentally how subversive that kind of geographical moniker would be in southern NH, when a preexisting town of Cambridge nestled in northeastern NH, near the Canadian border—let alone confusion stemming from myriad online articles linked to the Arlington site.  Geography, when a staple within a branding situation, means a lot.  (More on this axiom below.)

-Totia Typewriter

“Totia” is Russian for “aunt,” and was the nickname my wife had had for her own father’s sister.  Before passing during the pandemic, Totia had always been supportive of her niece, and, through extension, me.  When she passed, she made my wife a beneficiary of her will—an intermediate sum allowing us to invest, with funds of our own, in a downpayment on our first home.  With the help of her generosity, we likewise shuttled additional funds we’d intended applying toward our home into the shop, thereby bypassing the need for a bank loan, which is generally a crucial hurdle in the starting of any small business.

Between “totia” being a Russian word, however, and more difficult than one might think to pronounce, we thought it best to sideline this option.  Moreover, it didn’t seem right to have her namesake so prominently displayed within our signage without her direct consent, although we both assume she would’ve loved it.  Instead, we dedicated the communal writing table in the shop to her, as she was a woman who enjoyed community and conversation; a placard memorializes her today.

Typewriter Chemist

As a former bioanalytical research chemist, this was one of the first names that sprang to mind—a combination of past and present pursuits.  Even going so far as to discuss décor of lab coats, beakers, Erlenmeyer flasks, and assorted scientific imagery for the shop, this concept made it pretty far in the running, until I remembered that, as much as I love science, I hated working in laboratories.  Also, the name sounded confusing, potentially leading some prospective customers to overlook the business as, indeed, a science-based venture.

New Hampshire Typewriter (and other, similarly geographical, variants)

Naming a typewriter shop after a region is tricky [see above].  To call it something too regional is to ostracize those outside its limits.  Similarly, too broad of a scope and you might attract people from too far away, frustrating them at the lengths they’d have to travel for service.

The name “Cambridge Typewriter” used to aggravate a lot of customers, as the shop was located in Arlington, MA, not Cambridge.  Despite most hobbyists’ assumptions that Cambridge Typewriter had worldwide name recognition, that was only true among typewriter enthusiasts.  Most customers were everyday people who found heirlooms in attics/basements or suddenly decided they wanted a machine, but had no interest in falling deeper down the rabbit hole of collecting.  (In fact, most Arlington visitors would start their introductions with “I’ve been living in Arlington for [x number of] years and I had no idea this place existed.”  Likewise, the Chamber of Commerce only invited the business to join within the last year or so before its closure, after the media storm it’d experienced from receiving a Tom Hanks-signed typewriter.)  When customers entered the shop’s address into their GPSs, many would select “Cambridge,” instead of “Arlington,” as Massachusetts Avenue ran through both cities, and, consequentially, ended up 30-45 minutes away from the shop, around the M.I.T. campus, and generally at the peak of weekday traffic…and then they would call the shop, confused, irritated, and requesting directions.

NH Typewriter—similarly Nashua Typewriter, Merrimack Typewriter, Southern NH Typewriter, Gate City Typewriter (Nashua is known as the “Gate City”)—all allude to geographic areas specific to the lowest region of New Hampshire.  While that is, in fact, our location, being just off Route 3 grants us access to pretty much every scope of New England, hence our final decision.

Tator Tot Typewriters

This was, by far, my favorite alternative to New England Typewriter.  In fact, I went so far as to purchase old potato-chip tins, potato sacks, Mr. Potatohead toys, and the like from antique stores and flea markets, as décor for the future storefront.  I’d also envisioned our logo being a vintage Remington standard typewriter (like the ones emblazoned in red along old portable lids), brimming with potatoes, with a few errant spuds at its sides.  Without explaining any further, anyone can likely imagine the problems this name would present.

Firstly: “Why potatoes?”  Well, apart from liking potatoes, and being of Irish descent, my nickname for my wife is Tator Tot (and hers for me is Kiwi, if you’re interested).  I could get into why that is, but let’s just assume that stating a fact suffices its definition.  As I love my wife dearly, and as she was the sole investor in the business, as well as my financial support throughout my apprenticeship, I thought naming it (somewhat) after her would be a sweet gesture.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Tator Tot” is trademarked, isn’t it?  Yes, it is, although the trademark pertains to “Tater” with an “e”.  Convoluting the whole process further is the fact that, like “Band-Aid” and “Dumpster”, which are also trademarked names, we found that “Tater Tot” might potentially fall under Genericness Doctrine, in which trademarked names, like those previously specified, could see their statuses dissolved through the act of common usage?  On that end, we were trying to start a new business, not test legal waters. So, we saw no reason to tempt fate with Ore-Ida or any other preexisting entities.

Garfield’s Typewriters

Visitors to the shop immediately realize my fandom of the Creature from the Black Lagoon.  He’s neither a mascot, nor a business-related fixture, however.  He’s simply something I like to look at throughout the day.  And, most people seem to get a kick out of him.

Along those lines, imagine if all those Gill-man toys, pictures, masks, etc., were switched out for imagery and paraphernalia of the 20th President of the United States.  I won’t get too heavily into it, but I’m a fan of the man.  Beyond politics, positions, etc., he was a man of integrity whose humility and determination gleamed high over his every effort.  (Seriously, look him up sometime.)  Since learning more about him as a man, versus what limited, though highly influential, achievements he touted during the second-shortest presidential tenure in our nation’s history, his hard work and humility have been somewhat staples of personal idealism to me.

Referring back to “Totia Typewriter,” and my discomfort in appropriating another’s name without their consent, even if they’ve been dead for well over 100 years, I didn’t think it right to name the business after him.  Then, there’s also the confusion of the name, the lack of iconography to fill the physical space enough to reflect the brand, the idea that filling said gaps would likely require imagery of a certain orange cat, my adversity toward that certain orange cat (I’m more of an Odie man), and the potential for trademark infringement between naming a business after a certain orange cat, having imagery of any kind of a certain orange cat, and leading a certain “Jim Davis” to believe I’m trying to piggyback on his success…