From Stellar to Schlock: A Desert Island Movie List
When I was very young, I had severe asthma, to the point I had to be placed on an automated nebulizer several times a day, breathing medication into my lungs. In order to pass the time during these dosages with limited duress (read as: “boredom”), my parents would regularly place me in front of the television with a cassette tape inserted into our Betamax VCR. This is how I gained an affinity for classic cinema, watching mostly black-and-white pictures, such as Universal/RKO horror movies, Abbott & Costello, the Marx Brothers, and whatever other tapes my parents procured from wherever-it-is-they-procured-them-from.
Time passed, and I would regularly seek out cinematic masterpieces and schlock alike. The only thing more interesting to me than the “best of the best” are/were films that make one wonder how it was the producers conned people out of investment funds for a budget. So, gory, B-movie drivel (ex. Cannibal Ferox, Meet the Feebles) played in my VCR (and, later, DVD player) with as much regularity as the greatest movies ever put to celluloid (ex. Casablanca, Citizen Kane). By the mid-to-late nineties, the American Film Institute began publishing/broadcasting lists of the “best films” in specific genres and categories. I’d stay up, watching these presentations, keeping tabs on those pictures I hadn’t consumed yet. In time, other publications formed their own “best of” registers, and I, in turn, devoured those as well.
Still regardless of the classiness of a particular moving picture, the best-of-the-best aren’t always the kinds of movies most people would likely seek out for continuous viewings. Granted, some are as watchable as they are artistic, but sometimes all an audience wants is a whole lot of craziness compacted into a 90-minute runtime. On the same bent, not every piece of “trash cinema” is worth a second viewing…because, well, it’s trash.
With these things in mind, I thought it’d be fun to present a list of my own personal “Desert Island Movies.” You know, in case I’m ever on an island, by myself, with electricity and, for some reason, have ample food and shelter provided, allowing me time to watch exactly 100 movies of my own selection. Normal, real-world stuff!
Again, these are not the “Best Films Ever Made” (not even by my discernment; otherwise, there’d be a LOT more Kubrick), although a number of them are on many such lists. Some of these are movies that mean a lot to me, maybe because they previously meant something to me during important times in my life; maybe because they make me feel certain ways and are excellent go-to catalysts for making me feel those ways again, in a pinch; maybe because I truly do feel they’re the epitome of excellent (and rewatchable) cinema; or, maybe because it’s fun to occasionally shut my brain off and watch a thoroughly absurd, unscientifically-science-fiction movie, like “The Core,” and not worry about the headlines of the day. No matter how it’s sliced, it’s still escapism. (Honestly, put the first 25 on a randomized loop for the rest of my life, and I’d be a happy camper.)
Note: Some of these movies have typewriters in them. They’re nice objects to see when they pop up, but they have no bearing on my selections.
Enjoy!
2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
Real Genius (1985)
Finding Forrester (2000)
Good Will Hunting (1997)
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
Lost in Translation (2003)
The End of the Tour (2015)
Pollock (2000)
It's Such a Beautiful Day (2012)
Inherit the Wind (1960)
Hunger (2008)
Midnight in Paris (2011)
The Apartment (1960)
Fantastic Planet (1973)
Malcolm X (1992)
The Meaning of Life (2005) (short film)
Sideways (2004)
The Core (2003)
Tim's Vermeer (2013)
Stanley Kubrick: A Life in Pictures (2001)
Paper Chase (1973)
Purple Rain (1984)
Ace in the Hole (1951)
There Will Be Blood (2007)
Dan in Real Life (2007)
Patton (1970)
King Kong (1933)
Dawn of the Dead (1978)
No Country for Old Men (2007)
Ugetsu (1953)
Paths of Glory (1957)
Being There (1979)
Cannibal Holocaust (1980)
Hearts Beat Loud (2018)
Goodfellas (1990)
Man Bites Dog (1992)
Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
Ex Machina (2014)
The House That Jack Built (2018)
Macbeth (2015)
Ricky-Oh: The Story of Ricky (1991)
M (1931)
Alien (1979)
Predator (1987)
John Wick (2014)
Giant (1956)
Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009)
Alan Partridge (2013)
Shame (2011)
The Aviator (2004)
The Big Lewbowski (1998)
Seven Samurai (1954)
The Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954)
Princess Mononoke (1997)
Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008)
Cars (2006)
Unforgiven (1992)
Inglorious Basterds (2009)
The Birdcage (1996)
Onibaba (1964)
Brazil (1985)
Coffy (1973)
Eyes Without a Face (1960)
High Tension (2003)
Captains Courageous (1937)
Hostel (2005)
Martyrs (2008)
Contact (1997)
Drive (2011)
Wall Street (1987)
Kill Bill: Vol. I (2003)
The Wages of Fear (1953)
300 (2006)
Raze (2013)
Grindhouse (2007)
Life of Brian (1979)
Jeanne Dielman, 23 Quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles (1975)
Pumping Iron (1977)
A Good Year (2006)
The Incredibles (2004)
The Dark Knight (2008)
Groundhog Day (1993)
The King of Kong (2007)
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)
Phenomenon (1996)
First Blood (1982)
Dancer in the Dark (2000)
Cocktail (1988)
Under the Skin (2013)
Son-in-Law (1993)
Broadcast News (1987)
Night of the Living Dead (1968)
Shaun of the Dead (2004)
The Edge (1997)
Apocalypto (2006)
A Goofy Movie (1995)
In Bruges (2008)
The Hunted (2003)
Quiz Show (1994)
Under the Blossoming Cherry Trees (1975)
